


Songs About Byleth

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Worship, F/M, I know Byleth's hair is dark blue for the first bit but do I care? no, I love bullying idiot men, Sexual Assault, Smut without feelings, Unrequited Crush, big ol horny, good luck boy, its only a tiny bit but
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 22:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20454545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Byleth gets a surprise guest during her spa visit that eventually leads to the undoing of sir skirt-chaser





	1. Shiver

Byleth hummed quietly to herself, enjoying the respite of a well-earned soak in the spa near her room at the end of a long week. Steam loosened her tightened muscles on well-carved legs and toned back as she stretched her arms back lazily sudsing up her soft mint hair before she reached back to paw at the pile of bathing tools. The conditioner needed for her delicate hair was missing from her things sitting on the edge of the bathing pool.

"Damn... I need that." 

Sighing to herself with a pout, she dunked her head to wash the soap off before flinging her clean hair over her shoulders with a soft slap before reluctantly rising from the comforting waters to the chilly winter air that the building could only slightly keep at bay. She didn't run into the dressing room, however, because she was stopped at the surprise sight of an unexpected visitor. A slight parting of her confused lips was all that she showed other than a flat greeting. 

"Oh. Sylvain. Who did you have to bribe to get in here when it's the female instructors only hour?" 

The redhead looked utterly put out in just a towel as he gawked at the naked flushed woman in front of him. 

"H-hey I swear there was nobody out there! I shoulda known better but…" 

He trailed off, averting his gaze quickly as he attempted to gather his thoughts and clutch his flimsy towel tighter. That didn't help  _ her _ state of undress, but she seemed hardly annoyed. Sylvain honestly did make a mistake, but with his reputation, convincing her otherwise would provide difficult. It was also proving difficult to ignore his inclination to admire her as she was.

"But what? I'm disappointed you couldn't ask if I was interested before making a move like this." 

Byleth didn't even seem to care a hot-blooded man was leering at her naked form, standing casually as she wrung her dripping hair out. He swore a twinge of upset at that fact, but she had always proven to be an unflappable leader so it wasn't all that surprising she wasn't modest in the least here either.

"I swear!!! No funny business!! Had I known I would get such a lovely show maybe I would have come to get a better seat though~" 

He added with a wink and chuckle, and despite how hard he was shaking the young man slipped back to his familiar ways to ease the ache he was feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

"Ah. There it is." 

Rolling her eyes and finally moving over to grab her abandoned conditioner, her soft curves bounced as Sylvain lost his battle with his hunger and bored deep with his gaze her entire short trip. It seemed an eternity, and he had no reason to be nervous considering how many he had seen in various states of vulnerable undress, but there was something refreshing about her flippant disregard he couldn't place. A fist clenched tighter around the towel that was covering less by the second as his muscles tightened and the man gulped tighter. Her soft hips looked so inviting, he couldn't help but fantasize about the tender care he would place upon such a rare prize as their beloved instructor…

"Hey. Are you done staring or did you actually want something." He hadn't noticed her staring right back at him for the past few seconds. 

He gulped. 

_ You. _

But she was too good for him. She deserves someone who would cherish all the things about her, not treat her like a game to be won or consolation of 'good enough' after the games got old. A  _ literal _ goddess couldn't settle for a loser playboy with old tricks, but… he felt himself reaching for the only plays he knew out of pure anxiety. Over what? It was nothing he hasn't seen, hasn't touched, hasn't done before; yet. She truly was more important to him than all the rest though he would never let on. 

"If I said I'd love to relax for a while would that be unwelcome? I'd be such a waste to come all this way for nothing." 

Wet mint strands clung to her downcast face for an uncomfortably long time as they stood in silence, dripping onto her soft round breasts. What a pity he had to find himself unboxing this joy in such a way, but the gentle flush of too hot water did cast such a pleasing effect on her at any rate. Finally, she moved. 

"I hate to say no but I really wasn't expecting you to barge in here while I was unprepared like this. So I would appreciate it if you stopped staring at my tits and maybe approach me at a more appropriate time." 

Flat. A letdown. No hint of malice, but cutting deeper than any long-winded rejection letter or face slap he had ever received. Sylvain bit his lip and attempted to laugh it off but something inside him stirred so badly. Not lust but, longing. He pushed it down in his mind quickly and shook his fluffy locks as he backed towards the door. 

"My apologies goddess! I wouldn't dream of upsetting our dear lovely professor any further~ Though I suppose you wouldn't mind if I told my friends just how much you've been hiding under that coat." 

He didn't wait around to hear her answer to his endless platitudes and lurid suggestion, dipping into the men's changing room before he found himself crying very shortly. For what reason? Any other woman, he would have plied exactly what he wanted out of them with gentle ease they wouldn't catch on to until weeks later. Hands gripping his hair, he gritted his teeth and shook. This feeling was  _ so uncomfortable. _ Maybe it's for the best he leave her unbroken for a special someone to steal not just her body but her heart. 

It wasn't for him though. 

_ But you never even see me, do you? _


	2. Harder to Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Byleth's turn to surprise Sylvain haha

-

Sylvain left the spa dejected but heart pounding in his chest nonetheless. Mixed feelings pooled deep in his stomach as he pondered what his professor could have possibly meant by her last words. 

_ "Approach me at a more appropriate time."  _

For what?? Surely she knew what trouble it would be to purposefully entangle herself with him and yet he longed for it no matter how inappropriate it felt. The long walk back to his upper dorm room left his brow furrowed and his pants ever tighter. What if she did wish to be approached in that manner? He couldn't. Shouldn't. Not unless she asked. Even then, the guilt might eat him alive if he sullied something so precious with his dirty hands. His manhood yearned to be released at the thought of her smooth skin.. goddess why did it have to be so unexpected that he finally glimpsed heaven caught unawares? 

Running inside his room and bolting the door shut, he barely made it to his bed before grasping desperately at his aching junk for quick relief. Sothis would forgive him this at least. For months she had repeatedly caught the ginger staring at her exposed bits of skin in passing during lessons, but he apparently misread her lack of response as disinterest? Was it instead just her stoic and blunt nature? He groaned as his erection throbbed in his grasp, remembering just a few minutes ago how close he was to experiencing other hands at work on his body. Smaller, softer hands. If only he had done what he normally did to the others he could have had her. Sylvain had immediately stopped though at her request. Was he scared? 

No... 

Reverent.

His racing mind kept losing track of the task in hand and he found himself absently stroking a withering cock as he wondered whether this was productive in the least. 

_ Well, there goes that. _

The redhead slowly gave up and turned in for the night a bit early, worrying far more than his unashamed nature usually allowed if he had ruined things by accidentally overstepping his bounds with the wrong gal finally. His luck had to run out eventually, but wasn't that danger a part of the thrill? 

-

The next day, Sylvain showed to class with his messy hair looking a bit too over groomed, but nothing else seemed out of place for him. Confidence regained, at least outwardly, throughout the uneventful day until just before they were all dismissed as Ms. Eisner called out loud enough for all to hear: "Sylvain, we need to talk about your behavior after class. No weaseling out of this either." 

Taunting "oohs" and chuckles echoed around the room as everyone turned to catch his wounded puppy face at being publicly called out. 

"Come on, you make it sound like I've done something heinous!!! Unfair dear professor, my ego is gravely injured.." Throwing his hands up in false bravado to cover the fear growing inside as the other kids gathered their things and slowly filed out for the day with little other consequence leaving just him and an occupied mint mop facing down at the desk in front of her. Gulping hard, the man checked that nobody was snooping in the windows before shutting the double doors at the back and slowly making his way to the front where she waited. 

"Hey… uh. Professor. I-" she cut him off. 

"Byleth." 

"Oh. Uh. Byleth." Her name sounded so foreign, almost too intimate for the setting but he treasured the sound as it left his lips. "I'm really, terribly sorry about embarrassing you yesterday. I swear on Miklan's grave! It was an honest accident but I um." He paused, walking around to lean on the back of the desk right next to where she still had her face buried in exams while he frowned at the ground beside her. "I'm really sorry. I should show more respect than I did." 

She responded rather quickly, craning her neck up to face him finally with a gentle expression.

"Really, it's fine. I'm sort of flattered." 

"Come again?" 

As if to impress further the lack of malice, she reached over and gently laid a hand on his upper thigh. Sylvain gripped the desk behind with both hands and looked down at where her tiny hand laid, mere inches away from… 

He kept his gaze intently watching her hand on him as he continued, in disbelief over their current state. "You… don't want me to get the wrong idea now would you?" 

Byelth's large doe eyes went serious for a second, double-checking across the room behind him to make sure no prying eyes had found their way into the Blue Lions home base where they currently sat before making eye contact again with that disarming gaze of hers. Yet this time, some other emotion the redhead couldn't parse dwelled somewhere in there as well. He chuckled trying to ease the electricity in his veins as he looked back down at her. 

"Don't play dumb, you know exactly where I'm going, Sylvain. I don't wish to take advantage of your respect for a mentor, but we  _ are _ honestly about the same age, and if you meant what you said yesterday you can make good on that sentiment tonight after dinner." 

A pause, he was still processing the previous statements with his heart pounding when she continued further, 

"Well." she nodded. "There's your answer. I'm interested (if you weren't joking yesterday.) I just needed time to think it over so we can talk specifics later if that is okay with you." 

Her no-fuss forward nature blew him back as his jaw dropped. Sylvain has expected  _ anything _ but a near flat out proposition on her behalf. Her hand pulled back, to his relief as he crossed his legs over the newly formed hard-on and pushed away to break the tension that now filled the air with expectation. Sylvain still stood speechless for a few more moments as Byleth went back to absently shuffling papers, but he noted her glance back in curiosity for him to respond. Quickly he tried to gather his racing thoughts and decide on the spot, ruffling his hair as he did so.

_ Defile her?  _

_ Let her down easy? _

_ Convince her that you're more than a skirt chaser? _

The boy knew if he accepted, it would be over for both of them. Stepping foot in Byleth's room would be the deciding factor in them ruining her reputation and he needed to make sure he was okay wi- "Okay." 

_ FUCK WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU IDIOT!!  _

Quickly he bolted after catching a flash of a smirk across her lips at his answer, nearly running out as fast as he could to escape his screaming brain flashing warning sirens at his stupidity. Too impulsive, that's how he got his bad reputation in the first place. But with  _ her?  _ Did he  _ deserve _ to take her up on that offer? 

  
  


_ What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY IDK HOW THIS HAPPENED JUST TAKE IT AND GO


	3. This Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooo wow baby now you fucked up

Sylvain remained preoccupied the entire afternoon, eating in silence for the first time in ages as he fretted over the info divulged to him by his beloved teacher. Was it really okay for him to do this? She seemed willing but he worried that it would snap some unspoken rule hard enough to shatter through the lax rules of the monastery and, naturally, all the heat would fall on her head for the tryst. He had never worried about his libido causing any trouble before this moment, not for a second but…. 

She wasn't like the others. He worried that he couldn't hold himself from falling for her for real and he just can't have that now could he? Feelings were for losers, but she intrigued him in a way he had no understanding of, drawing him like a moth to a flame as he drew closer to her quarters that night. His entire modus operandi consisted of endless loveless trysts attempting to soothe some deep-seated self-loathing he held, but that wasn't fair to foist on lovely Miss Byleth. He just poured endless platitudes to satisfy the base desires of the girls around him. They didn't see or care for his true nature and just wanted as much as he did, to pretend to care for a night and move on the next day. It was safer this way. Sitting on a nearby bench in his regular daily wear while he waited for the coast to clear, impatiently bouncing one leg debating whether he actually could follow through or not as the time ticked slowly past the time she set. Nerves weren't a good look for him.

A heavy sigh later, his resolve was set and his need pushed any doubts he had back long enough to quickly perfect his hair and rap on her door, the quiet  _ tok tok _ echoing suspiciously loud through the still twilight air. The entrance quickly opened and he slipped in hoping he had avoided notice. It wasn't until the door shut quietly that he noted the basics of the setting; Byleth, in far too suggestive lingerie that left little to the imagination, wine on a simple table setting at the back of the room, scattered papers, a half-made bed. As enticingly messy as she, she greeted him with a slight worry over her words.

"I was afraid I had spooked you away but I guess that was silly. You're far too bold to be scared off over a forward woman."

Sylvain glanced down to make eye contact with a smirk. 

"Well hey I have an image to maintain and running from a challenge would threaten that now wouldn't it… so uh. Let's… talk then." 

It was so painfully hard to focus as they got seated on opposite sides of the small table, her underclothes enhancing her beauty even more than usual, lace tickling the edge of her ample bosom as she lifted toned arms to pour a glass of wine for both. She seemed slightly loose already, ready to ease the tension hanging in the air over him and her state of undress only furthered that.

"I'm not a virgin so please, don't make this a big deal but… long story short you know I've been stressed lately and I was hoping we could. You know." a quick shrug. "Let off steam from time to time. No expectations, please, but you seem like you would prefer it more to keep this a mutual agreement to have fun when the need arises? I don't really care what you do outside this setting as long as it's safe I just can't handle a relationship proper at the moment." 

He leaned back and sipped at the wine offered, smooth and spice-laden. Byleth was prepared to get exactly what she wanted here, but what did he want? 

He wanted to know more. Knowing that she wasn't pure eased his guilt some but his mind craved closeness with her so badly that he found himself caving to her every demand like a desperate hungry child. _Any _closeness. Physical, mental, spiritual… If he couldn't have it all, at least he could keep some precious intimate images all to himself. Better than nothing, he decided. Sylvain just hoped that he could satisfy someone who actually knew what they desired; she didn't seem to know that he secretly was a rather selfish lover at times for all his swagger over bedroom prowess.

Byleth leaned forward with a puzzled look, giving him ample time to mull over the proposition and her… beautiful… ample… blushing…brea... He gulped down more wine to cover the flush across his cheeks and crossed a leg imaging his roaming hands all over her. Yep, that was it. It was too late to turn back. He slammed the rest of his wine quickly and stood to come behind her chair and stared down her negligee. 

"No expectations? Am I still allowed to pamper an absolute goddess?" his soft hands began to knead her defined shoulders without hesitation. "Do we have time for that at least? See where things go from there. I can manage that. What will be hard, however…" the redhead leaned down and nibbled at the sensitive skin under his hands before whispering sweetly into the crook of her neck, "is not falling for you entirely." 

Leaning her head to give him more room, she surely thought these were just platitudes, but for once the man was being honest. Sylvain really did worry that he would lose himself to jealousy; a new sensation to him entirely as someone who hated being tied down. His strong hands took their sweet time working on her from behind, deftly sliding down her top to finally cradle her mounds. They were even softer than he had imagined the day prior. How was such a hardened war goddess so inviting? The juxtaposition between her sharp battle skill and her velvety rounded body was just too much for him. 

The young man didn't think he had ever felt such a strong yearning before and they'd hardly begun. His professor smelled just as soothing as he had dreamed, licking and sucking at the nerves behind her ear as she cooed gently in response. 

_ Mint. _

Just like the soft hair that fell over his face. He wanted so badly to admire everything about her as his normal goal-oriented orgasms were thrown out the window. 

He wasn't fucking his teacher; he was making love. 

And he was going to make sure she knew how precious a gift that was for him to impart as his fingers toyed with the sensitive buds on her chest, eliciting even more response from the woman in the chair below. His pants grew uncomfortably tight in response, but at the moment he didn't care about his pleasure at all. 

Sylvain cradled her head under his hand and pulled back to finally place a long-awaited kiss upon Byleth's soft lips. Her large eyes closed so serenely under his caring grasp that he pushed again with more intensity, needing to devour everything about her in desperation but trying even more desperately to hold back the floodwaters building deep inside. Their mouths met again, louder with broken gasps as he yanked gently on the nipple he had been teasing. Her hand reached to meet his own over it, ushering him on.

Never had she looked more perfect. But then his breath halted, her words just a few minutes prior echoing loudly in his head.

_ "No expectations, please." _

If he wanted her all to his own, he would have to earn it on his knees.  _ Make  _ her crave him as he did her. The redhead broke his hold on the mint haired woman below, her gentle hand stroking his side as he walked to face her before dropping between her legs. Mussed bright curls framed his deep brown eyes as he looked up at her with a pathetic hunger, the wine finally hitting his cheeks making such a beautiful scene for the lady waiting for his next move. 

"Dear goddess, may I offer up my best skill in your worship?" 

His hands slid up her creamy legs as Byleth softly smiled down, finding his brow furrow in fiery intent and her own hands occupying themselves on her neglected breasts as she spread her legs further for him. Professor seemed quite pleased at his ministrations and sweet nothings and that kept the waters bubbling over in his core to rise ever higher.

"Oh now I'm excited~ I get the Sylvain special" she chirped in response, the terrible joke making him chuckle and giving levity to the first cautious joining of new partners.

Sylvain moved her chair to better accommodate his position before gently dragging her forward to the edge of her perch, pounding heart threatening to reveal the flood of emotions beneath as her legs rested on his broad shoulders. 

The redhead blinked quickly, somehow not noticing till now that she straight up wore no underwear for their meeting as he met face to face with her delicious pussy for the first time. Byleth's sweet smell from her growing arousal hit his face inches away and at that point, the dam broke. 


	4. Tangled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They boink haha

Sylvain sat on his knees admiring the precious meal before him; a heaping helping of his teachers dripping cunt. He worried if he was truly worth all this effort on her end, but he was going to savor every part of this experience either way, as he knew somewhere in the back of his head it would be a one-off after she got sick of his antics. Peppering gentle kisses on her firm thighs, he worked his face closer to her heat with uninterrupted stares up at the woman above. For all her muscles, Byleth had a delectable softness about her as well. His hands gripped firmly at the squishy joint between her wide hips and legs as he added a smirk to the intense eye contact that stuck between the two. Her response was to pull up and cast aside the flimsy negligee and grin softly down at the man between her legs. His work was cut out for him if he hoped to have a repeat tutoring session, and he finally ceased his teasing to bury his face deep in the woman's muff before licking a wide stripe between her delectable folds. 

"Babe you taste better than I imagined…" he hummed gently to her crotch while intensifying his efforts on her clit. She clamped her legs tight around the boy's face and quickly shot back, "No pet names,  _ please _ .".

The redhead tried not to show his worry at those words; he really couldn't put up his front in any way like usual as she read right through it every time. His face broke from her warm pussy with a string of sticky sweet cum dripping down as he smiled again, looking down at his efforts finally. 

"Sorry. Bad habit. What should I call you then sweetheart?" 

Her face shot to the ceiling as he made contact again, ignoring yet more honeyed words to gasp when he found and chased after her sweet spot as his hands massaged her soft cheeks underneath. 

"J-ah~ Just my name is fine thank…. you…" 

One hand freed itself to gently push a digit at her entrance, watching intently for her response before adding a second and pressing further in her pussy. Byleth responded in turn by grabbing his hair roughly and begging for more as she ground her heat into him even more. His long fingers twisted so gently inside her, pushing her further towards the end goal as her breath quickened in turn. Sylvain's erection nearly hurt from the tightness from watching her squirm as his patience grew thin. Nearing a climax, however, he pulled away with a darkened look on his face. 

"Come now, I can't let you have all the fun." 

The mint haired woman pouted but let him rise before pulling herself from the chair to make the short walk to her messy bed. He was already stripping in turn, ripping his shirt off with ease before coming to the edge of the bed where she sat.

"Why'd you have to cut it off like that I was close…" she sounded nearly disappointed but he couldn't hold back any longer. A tiny hand went to reach for his manhood before he slapped it away gently. 

"Nah Prof… Byleth. Tonight we focus on you." A wink. "Sorry I'm a little impatient, but I wanna make sure I nail this exam my first try." 

Corny, but it elicited a cute chuckle from his precious teacher anyway that delighted him almost as much as the intimacy. Pushing her back onto the bed, Sylvain gently crawled on top of her, quickly continuing his previous fingering again while rubbing out his painful hard-on against her leg to alleviate the tension building. He was overexcited after having fantasized about this exact moment for far too long and he worried his stamina would give out before she would be satisfied so he did his best to push her over the edge without teasing her as much as before. Byleth certainly felt the intensity ramp up as she tried to reciprocate in turn, her sweet face softening with every push of his hand into her pussy and twirl of the thumb around her aroused nub. She yanked at his fluffy hair and left kisses up and down his neck, stopping to leave a few red marks that would certainly give him away if he bathed with other students this week. Hopefully, they would assume he was philandering with random girls in town like usual and not making his teacher moan in ecstasy as she rode out an orgasm around his hand.

His cries came in turn at her efforts, far sweeter than she had anticipated but very welcome to her ears as she tried to catch her breath.

"More of that.. I like loud men." He groaned loudly as she bit down on the small of his neck with more intensity, bucking his hips into her side. 

"Ha… do you now… that's a simple request at least."

He pulled his hand free of her sex before licking it clean painfully slow with an almost reverent face. 

"You're making this too easy on me, love. Are you sure you still want this? All of it?" He asked again, positioning his tip at her entrance. She looked composed as ever save a small flush across her cheeks as he stared down at the woman below. 

Byleth nodded gently before the redhead sheathed himself in her, moaning a little too excitedly as he did so. Their bodies met finally as Sylvain nearly lost himself in the feeling, pushing his face into her shoulder to hide just how much he was really feeling. He was a cool playboy, laying with women wasn't a big deal to him. But she was special. The one he never thought would be panting beneath him as she slowly started to thrust in and out of her heat but there she was nonetheless, enjoying herself pretty well if her voice was any indication. 

Those pleasing sounds made him lose himself more in turn. It was rather out of character for him to see lovemaking as more than a means to an end.. his end. Yet he found himself driving his length with intent, focusing solely on her reactions as he tried desperately to yank any amount of reaction from his professor below. Gently caressing her chest, leaving more kisses along her collarbones, and finally stopping to prop himself up further to get access to her clit again. That drew even more out of her, he noted with a satisfied smile. 

"I… ha. Actually wasn't expecting much of th-IS. But wow Sylvain I…" she wasn't speaking very clearly so he hoped that was a good sign as he continued lavishing attention on her overstimulated bud, pushing her further towards yet another climax. He almost wanted to see her even more embarrassed but would settle for this right now, barely pulling out in time to spill his seed on her stomach after she came with a cry. 

Shame filled Sylvain immediately; entirely unwelcome and very new to him as he quickly and methodically rose, covering his true intent yet again after twenty minutes of truth here. His honestly only showed in flashes and Byleth picked up on it every time without fail. She moved to steady herself, breathing heavy as she grabbed at her blanket with a sex drunk haze over her still as she pushed her sex mussed hair out of her face. 

"I know you're not going to stay, but Sylvain?" she stopped and waited for him to turn and face her with sweat sticking his lovely hair to his face and an unreadable fear somewhere deep within. 

"I swear I will kill you if you tell anyone." and he could tell she meant it. 


	5. The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cannot forget  
Refuse to regret  
So glad I met you and  
Take my breath away  
Make every day  
Worth all of the pain that I have gone through

-

After that first night, Sylvain held his breath each week expecting the invitations to "tea" to stop suddenly. Yet they never did. Time and time again, she came back for more without fail. With every time their bodies met, he learned her more and more and she allowed herself to relax ever so slightly, trying new things that excited her as well as he. It was hard to build up enough intimate trust to really get inventive with sex play with his hopping from hookup to hookup, so this was exciting new territory for him as well.

They had a good store of toys piling up in his room by this point, and a schedule planned for when they knew Dimitri would be out and unable to overhear their little hidden affairs. The two were nearly caught only once, but it was just Lindhart sleepwalking thankfully. The pounding had resumed shortly after the coast was clear again. Almost all his spare money at this point was going to flowers she kept in her room, or a brooch for her lovely hair, or fancy dinners away from prying eyes, or more sex playthings they managed to scrounge up from the way too cheery dark merchant, or taking over her duties around the grounds, or fancy teas… 

Sylvain had loosened up as well, finding himself genuinely smiling more and more in daily life and trying to go out of his way to keep his precious professors favor in every subtle way possible. He wasn't even sure if she noticed, for other than her lowered stress levels and heightened physical reactions the man could not tell if any of his attempts were even doing anything. Appreciative when the gestures were acknowledged, sure, but they carried the same tone she gave when praising every other student in the class.  _ "That's so sweet of you, I'm proud that you're trying more."  _ Well, he couldn't deny that it was doing wonders for his grades to be buttered up and sexed-up but he knew somewhere in the back of his head that eventually, she would find someone respectable that made her happy in more way than just one. He wasn't sure if he could even become that man after all that he had done and his defeatist attitude threatened to ruin the thin balance every so often. 

He had kept his vow of absolute silence, doing everything in his power to protect the tenuous heaven he had fallen into, only hints of anything being changed between the two being his gaze lingering on her a bit longer than usual. Well.

And one other thing. 

Despite their agreement, Sylvain found himself increasingly disinterested in seeing any other women. Byleth's freedom was nice, sure, but he was lucky enough to get to bed an absolute freak and composed lady that nothing else seemed to satisfy him any longer. He would go out bar hopping still but found himself unable to even care enough to lavish empty praise on women considered even better status or harder catches than his lovely teacher. Yes. 

His. 

He worried when it would end, but for the past few months, she truly was under his thumb, even if just for sex. But to be honest, the redhead had no earthly clue at this point who was playing who… He had planned to talk to her about his change of heart, but every time it came to a suitable time he chickened out, knowing that it would most likely soil what they hand until one night. 

  
  
  


Byleth was riding out an orgasm on top of him, breasts bouncing so delightfully with every wet slap back down on his manhood. Her face a perfect nirvana of blush and pure ecstasy as she moaned gently, their light green and bright red hairs meeting at the base of his shaft. The woman gripped his sides tightly as she came, throwing her head back as he found his own release a few seconds later while he reached gently for her face, and he let slip without thought, 

"I think I love you." 

Silence hung in the air, heavier than her dead weight recovering her breath on his chest and long enough to make panic rise to a fever pitch. Nearly a full minute she laid there against him quietly as his brain catastrophized with such high speed that it could double a wyvern rider given the chance. 

"I….." she started. Then stopped. Her voice sounded shaky? 

Oh no. He had pushed it too far. Byleth rose silently still, avoiding eye contact with the man while gathering her things and fixing herself up before turning to leave without making any comment other than a simple sentence with no inflection as she quietly shut his door behind her.

"I need space." 

Sylvain wouldn't admit to anyone ever in his long life, but he had cried himself to sleep that night. What terrible timing as well, as they had a big mission coming the following day. It was certainly dangerous to risk distracting her perfect laser focus on the battlefield with his stupid, stupid feelings he didn't even understand. 

They couldn't make eye contact the entire time, and he was absolutely off his game, with Dimitri and Annette sweeping all the beasts with ease while he struggled to even keep his horse going at a steady pace much less provide his normal damage output. He knew he had to break the silence and at least get a clear answer from her soon, and decided that after the battle he would make his case but then… Jeralt was killed. 


	6. Not Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -You do not know how much this hurts me
> 
> To say these things that I don't want to say
> 
> But I have to say them anyway-

-

Byleth was not coping well with the loss in the week after losing Jeralt. Eating was infrequent at best, she withdrew back into that shell that had slowly started to erode. Her being expressive was a rare treat before losing her only parent in such a painful way, but now? Near impossible to get anything out of her either way. No smiles, no sadness, no rage. She went about her duties as usual, sure, but the redhead watched and worried, knowing he couldn't do much to stop what she was going through, and that anything he  _ did _ try would not be well received anyway.

It's all for the best anyway. Dimitri stepped up to comfort her in ways Sylvain couldn't, and he knew he had broken whatever tenuous happiness they had found without any way to open up in any meaningful way in the end. The prince got her food, did his best to keep her spirits up, and what was he doing? Lamenting the loss of regular sex? Professor didn't seem to respond to Dimitri in the same way as she did to him but, surely someone like that is what she deserved. Sylvain frowned in class, arms crossed as he mused; torn between painful self-improvement and staying in his comfort zone. 

Somehow she knew he probably wasn't ready to give up his bad habits. Bad coping. A glance back at him betrayed absolutely none of the softness she held before, as she drolled on about the dangers of miscasting dark magic and how to prevent so. He must have been playing around and zoning out too much for her liking as he got a cruel callout in front of all his classmates for worrying about useless ended trysts. 

"Sylvain!" she rapped on the desk loudly with no emotion. "Didn't you wish to take the dark knight test soon and need this information? If you aren't going to pay attention today you need to leave and stop distracting everyone." 

She was definitely taking out her frustrations on him. He didn't mind. Anger was easier than pity, he thought with a huff, gathering his things quickly and loudly before stomping out with a quick scoff, "Sorry Prof. I'm not feeling well." 

If he wanted free of longing, this wasn't going to help much. Byleth saw right through him to the bitter end, and it  _ PISSED  _ him off to know that someone like  _ HER _ finally broke him. It all started so nice but he hadn't expected his teacher to worm under his skin this much. 

He wasn't whipped. 

No way. 

Stomping back to his room, he stopped and forced himself to ask a young woman in passing if she wanted to play hooky with him before she quickly rejected him. Back to basics. But maybe he could make her miss him, get back at her for being so cold after he finally was honest to her? Sylvain was torn between bitter rage and pathetic self-hatred. The one time he was accidentally honest and it was too much for her. But was he even capable of love, truly? Waxing poetic about being a playboy and heartbreaker only goes so far when you forget how to even be truthful with yourself. Nah. 

Fuck this game plan. She wouldn't be swayed by jealousy, he knew. She had to hate him. Give him a good reason to put this behind him and move on. 

-

Byleth survived in a haze, actually torn up inside but falling back on the safe zone she grew up in; casual detachment on the outside. Knowing nothing lasts, they would be in the next town soon, more bodies to pile up to pay for food on a tavern table, more useless men throwing themselves at her because of the dangerous fables, more new scenery. Showing weakness meant death. Until now, she had known only chaos and grown comfortable in being able to handle anything thrown at her but  _ SOTHIS ALMIGHTY _ did this asshole get under her skin. She couldn't very well blame Mr. Gautier for the bad timing, but that just gave her a convenient excuse to let things die before she opened herself up. Sylvain couldn't have meant what he said anyway; she wasn't a fool. The woman knew his playbook well. She was almost insulted he thought that would work, however. That is, if she could muster up the energy to be insulted in the first place.

Something to dull the ache inside, her dead heart was heavy and nothing seemed to help. Not food, not Dimitri or Mercedes or Annette or Ashes kind words. None of it even reached her. Kind platitudes of course, but she wished so desperately for that closeness only a dad could understand. A closeness that was ripped away forever. Small comforts, not having to explain every little thing, his rough but uplifting hugs, his laugh. The way they both innately understood the other, and all she could see was his smile at her finally crying. Byleth walked halfheartedly to the pub in town, drinking on an empty stomach to at least get some sleep after failing for the past few nights and not having anyone awake to fill the void left behind. 

Fucking idiot, thinking she was safe here. She had gotten soft. Let herself get too close, let her guard down. Ale after Ale, till his last words stopped echoing hollow in her head for the first time since that dark day. She downed drinks by herself in the quiet dark corner, glaring at anyone that even dared show interest in her direction, till she was barely able to pay and stumble home. Only the goddess could judge her. 

_ Screw it all. _

But on the way, she ran into the worst possible person. Trying to evade detection and what she knew would come, her clumsy drunken actions betrayed her before she could make a speedy escape. 

"Fuck." She tripped over herself in the dark, Sylvain rushing over to try and  _ help _ i.e. manipulate her back into bed. Not this time buddy. Jig is up. 

"Whoa whoa there lovely, what happened to you?" He grabbed and steadied the mint haired woman as she swatted him away roughly. 

"Fuck off, you already know." She almost spit the words out, hoping he wouldn't press it further. But oh, he did. Of course he did. Sylvain snaked his arm around her waist to steady the loose muscles failing to hold her body upright. 

"Wow you are really riled up. One too many? Can I escort you back? Doesn't feel right to leave you vulnerable like this." 

_ As if the worst threat here isn't currently holding me… _

The woman scoffed, rolling her ankle with a small cry. She had not realized how drunk she truly was until trying to walk back to her room and now look where that got her. 

"What the fuck do you want Sylvain?? I'm not in the mood, leave me alo-" she tripped again, cutting herself short and falling to the cobblestone by the fishing area before he could catch her. 

She  _ almost _ made him want to apologize like this. Almost. He hoisted her back up on shaky feet before she tried walking, a little more determined fueled by rage and annoyance.

"WELL it's lucky I found you, professor~ I just happened to wonder why we hadn't met up in a while. I'm getting kinda  _ parched _ over here…" he joked, absolutely the worst thing he could have said at the time. 

Byleth, without hesitation, turned and full force slapped him with all the anger Monica had missed out on, and then some. 

" _ Pig.  _ I'm honestly insulted that you thought I would buy that little lie too. Now leave me alone I don't need your help. Like really,  _ right _ after my dad dies you see fit to pull this..." She was able to put some shaky distance between the two as he reeled from the pain he begged for. But it wasn't good enough. 

Sylvian's face darkened. He had to truly have her hate him like he hated himself. He needed the validation that he was truly as bad as everyone says. Grabbing the drunk woman, he shoved her against the crate behind and roughly groped inside her shirt, fast enough and forcefully enough that she couldn't react other than true horror. 

" _ A pig??? A pig?? _ Is this what a pig does then?? I respected you. Do you know how hard that is for me?" He got no pleasure from this, but he was so enraged that he acted rashly, both scaring and pissing off the Ashen Demon even further. 

Byleth sobered quickly, a jolt of adrenaline rushing through her. His hands on her weren't soft like before, they were predatory. 

Possessive. 

Angry. 

Her body went into automatic response, kneeing him in the balls and doubling him over as payment for abusing her kindness yet again. A sharp cry of pain as his messy mop reeled over in response. Regret at ever having trusted him to be a bigger person than he was washed over her for deciding this would be a good idea. She knew then he wasn't ready to grow up. 

"I don't honestly know if you're capable of genuine love or respect, Sylvian. That's not my problem. But if you  _ fucking _ touch me again I will end you." The drunken stupor was dulled a bit, but came back slightly as she left him crumpled on the cold ground to wobble back to her room, locking it tightly behind her. Sylvain laid there for a good long while after the pain subsided. There it was. Finally some emotion from her. A shame he had to hurt her to get it, but at least she knew who he truly believed he was now. 

-

Well, Sylvain got what he wanted. After that, she truly was well and done with him, as he hoped. Two months came and went, war broke out, she was gone. Not a word after that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uh, promise it's not gonna end badly


	7. Sweetest Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short one but I think it works well enough sorry I just had to keep going to not lose my steam!!!

After she left, all color was sucked out of his world. War broke out, chaos everywhere, and the only thing Sylvain could look forward to was lone horse rides away from his horrid father who kept trying to push suitor upon suitor his way. He was having none of it, besides war with the Empire being horrid timing, he knew that even with Byleth's death he didn't have the heart to go through the motions any longer and produce a boring old heir to make them happy. Rebuffing any girl thrust in front of him as kindly as he could seemed to become a common occurrence, knowing that his father was apparently anxious to make sure the Lance of Ruin always had a potential successor. 

He had not touched a woman since he laid his dirty, selfish, bitter hands on her all that time ago, and it burned holes in his fingertips every time he stopped what he was doing for too long. Family drama, a missing king, territory fights amping up ever further as Fhirdiad fell to chaos under some random lady's temporary rule and monetary support for the common folk stopped entirely. The tension was palpable, and he had no solace any longer. No woman's arms or sweet honeyed words, nor drink, nor friends nearby to dull the pain. It hardened the youngest Gautier in some ways, but broke him apart in others. The longer she was gone, the further his regret grew.

A fool.

A desperate immature fool.

He could have had something real and he was too scared to open up. Sleep became a problem for him, and his father even noticed the mounting pressure changed him in ways nobody could quantify. But Sylvain knew, somewhat. Wind sweeping his curly hair as he hid away on his steeds back, from fussy maids ushering him to rest enough to continue doing his assigned at birth duties the next morning. Cold winter air biting hard at his skin, cutting to his core. It's what he deserved for how wasteful he had been for so long. He knew it would come back to haunt him eventually, but the way in which it happened was not anticipated. It wasn't from outside sources, but internal guilt.

Eventually, he had realized he had truly loved her. It wasn't just platitudes uttered in vain as his long distant memory replayed their final time over in his mind time and time again. He wouldn't ever get that chance again and wasn't sure he would ever feel as happy around someone as he did Byleth. Disregarding his father's wishes half the time, he did his best to be a good kid where his heart told him, developing a bit of a backbone enough to tell his old man off when his cruel tendencies threatened to harden him again.

No.

Even if she was gone for good, he would become a better man in her honor. It's what she would want.

Maybe it was foolish of him to pray to a dead woman for forgiveness, but it was enough to spur him to develop a more genuine core. Not to worry, he still knew how to smartly protect himself when it was called for, but he could tell a change in the friends around him as well even if his battle-hardened father or dead brother would never get to. Ingrid was being far less curt with him, Felix seemed less bitter. That was prize enough to continue fighting for a better version of himself, even if he still yearned for what was long gone.

“Hey, idiot.” Sylvain's head rolled back on the chaise lounge he was reading from as his friend came in from the cold. A standard greeting still all these years later, it was an almost fond cynicism between the two at this point. “It's getting unsettling how long you're holding out. I actually kind of miss seeing boring girls on your arm every day. You haven't written to me any disgusting lurid letters since war broke out.”

“Well now, maybe my standards have just gotten higher over the years. I can't be satisfied with garden variety city girls any longer. Also holy SHIT Felix you do not know how badly I've missed your bad sense of humor. It's been what?? A year and a half?? Damn.” He ruffled his hair, hopping up to tightly hug the reluctant swordmaster who tensed up under the contact, pushing him away quickly.

“Gah! Get your mushy shit away from me! It's not humor it's the truth.”

“Maybe a bit of both?”

Felix just rolled his eyes in disapproval, removing his thick winter coat and rolling tightened shoulders out from his long ride over before pursing his lips at the ground and crossing his arms.

“Look. I know you were banging her, but you have to move on someday. I don't like seeing you broken up like this.”

Sylvain sighed. Of course he had known of their activities. He just thanked the goddess Felix had kept his mouth shut about it. 

“Would you be glad to know I've been working on stuff in the meantime? If not for her then for the next gal who gives me a shot? I've been giving my old man a run for his money, to be honest.”

“Sure sure. That's your problem. At least it's gotten less obnoxious to hang out with you now that your interests have expanded a bit.”

Another laugh from the redhead as he grabbed some wine for his long parted buddy.  
  


“Now now, you know I've always liked other things than flirting, I guess I just don't feel the need to hide behind it as much any longer. There? Happy?” He thrust the cup at the other before reclining back on the couch, one leg propped up. A heavy sigh from the dark-haired man as he took a cautious seat on another chair nearby, twirling the glass in a rare moment of rest between the two before continuing.

“Well. Truthfully, I came at the behest of Lady Galatea, I'll have you know.” Felix frowned at the ground, continuing. “I don't know if you're interested, but she forced me to come invite you with us to go make good on that promise from five years ago.”

Sylvain felt his throat tighten. Five years. It had felt like a lifetime. Chest clenched tighter remembering all the memories they had shared back then, and how hard things had been since. He was proud of all the improvements he had struggled through all on his own, but could he honestly handle going back to the darkest spot in his memories? Losing his professor hit him harder than his brother's traumatic death even, looking back. Perhaps because he felt he earned part of that loss himself, whereas Miklan they knew was going to be an issue sooner or later. Brow furrowed, he raised his gaze to the man sitting across from him hoping for an easy answer he knew wouldn't come. He was just as lost and stressed out as he was.

But he had to know. Something told him to go.

“You know what? Fuck it. Even if nothing comes of it, at least I have an excuse to get away from that bastard for a week with you two. I'm in.”

He leaned over to clink their glasses together.

-

The three childhood friends had gone, and besides the gaping hole left by the missing dead prince, the levity provided by their longstanding trust provided a welcome respite for Sylvain's tired thoughts. Father had reluctantly dropped the case after Sylvain had hinted at a romance with Ingrid that wasn't even true; he was far too eager to match off his only 'profitable' offspring, even more so than when he was growing up, so he took the false hint from his son with no fighting.

Thank the goddess for that. Their laughter over Felix unintentionally embarrassing himself took them right back to being thick as thieves in no time at all, and the trip back to their old Academy was far too fast for his liking. At the very least, even if nobody else showed, he would get this time with them again. They rode up to the remains of Garreg Mach on that lone mountainside with caution but knew that most any foes they found would be easy pickings compared to their experience gained over the last half-century. Petty thieves at most.

What they didn't anticipate was a wild one-eyed blonde monster tearing through flesh like butter, or the flash of mint close trailing behind him in the shadows.

His heart stopped and jaw dropped.

_It couldn't be. Goddess above it couldn't be._

She was alive.

There she was, in the flesh. Byleth was alive, seemingly untouched by the years that had hardened the rest of them. 


	8. Through With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you remember the way we used to melt?
> 
> Do you remember how it felt when I touched you?
> 
> Oh, 'cause I remember very well”
> 
> Sorry for the dialogue heavy but I really wanna flesh things out a bit here and figured this was a good time to do so~

Stepping off the ruined battlefield that once held their precious monastery and now only held thieves and trash, his eyes couldn’t leave her. Yet she was stuck to  _ his _ side. Of course. 

His affections came back after five long silent dead years, only to run to the only other person who was also dead that long. A perfect fit, two walking corpses. He dared not hug her, kiss her forehead, plead forgiveness after all he had done. It was almost easier to deal with that cursed woman being dead than having to face his long-buried shame. They briefed on their current situations very lightly as their glee of reunion covered his worried mood, Sylvain covering things with his trademark smile that had not dulled over the years. He thought he caught her glance in his direction, but it betrayed none of the softness that once graced her features even if so. Those large eyes, piercing and comforting all at once; eyes he thought he would never get to see again… he caught himself holding his breath. Byleth still was as stunning as before, as if she hadn't aged a single day. Better than his dreams, even.

Sylvain’s heart ached every time she was nearby that day, at dinner, discussing how to convene and fix things in the war, going over….. Dimitri’s… situation. They all silently worried that he truly was too far gone at this point, nobody having any clue he was still alive just like her until they appeared together fighting side by side. It enraged him, all this time just sitting there while things got worse in the Kingdom, for the only people with any power to enact change to just putter around missing and assumed dead? What a waste. A huge, depressing, empty waste. But at the very least, even if they were at a disadvantage, two huge allies came back from the dead. Maybe things could be turned around yet. His gaze lifted, sad eyes searching for solace around the room and found none.

“Do you really think there’s still hope for him? He seems more animal than man at this point….” There was a painful admittance to those words from him, cut off by a glare from his childhood friend and words spat viciously in frustration. Ashe flinched away from the vitriol even though it was aimed at Sylvain.

“I TRIED to warn you all about the boar YEARS ago. Nobody goddamn listened to me. Nobody ever listens to me till it’s too late. There is no blame here but your own.” 

“Felix! Shut up! Nobody listened to you because it was too harsh! We legitimately cannot tell when you are being a shitheel for the sake of it and when you’re being honest.” Ingrid glared, crossing her arms back at him as Sylvain chuckled. It didn’t matter either way. Felix’s words rolled off him like rain off a duck. Goddess bless her unwavering boldness at any rate, Ashe relaxing a bit at the pushback.

“I am always being honest. Not my fault you all are too stupid to heed it.” He stomped off to do Sothis knows what; most likely train by his bitter lonesome. Sylvain feebly attempted to lighten the mood.

“Hey, I’m only stupid around women~ not like anyone could have known the whole Flame Emperor deal would happen right? That seemed to be the one thing that sparked a lot of it.” 

Taking a long moment to speak, Byleth uncharacteristically mumbled to the ground, holding herself tight as she corrected the redhead’s assertions. The other three snapped to attention as she continued.

“I… I noticed it sooner. I haven’t had five years’ time to process all of this like you all, but he definitely was worrying me before that… Remire… he snapped. Told me he was only here for revenge…that he did not remember all he did during that battle.”

Fingers twitched at his side as he longed so badly to comfort her at that moment, settling for softening his tone instead in front of Ingrid and Ashe. 

“You’re right. I’m not sure there was much you could have done anyway. Don’t blame yourself, we are all here to help as well. If there’s anything we can do, we’ll gladly do it. A lot of us have known him for ages and nobody likes to see him in pain like this.” 

Nods from Ashe and Ingrid as well. For a moment, she looked back with the worry and pain he had only seen once before. Choking on his words, he searched for anything to help and came up dry. Nobody had any clue how to proceed. If their steadfast leader was at a loss and their king a broken madman, then what good were they at this point? For all his intelligence it was entirely frustrating having no clear answer here.

“Hey.. uh… one day at a time. I dunno. Maybe something will scare him straight…” 

Byleth breathed deep and slow with her eyes firmly closed, trying to compose herself before she slowly moved to leave for the night. Ashe sighed heavily and gathered his things quickly before Byleth could break off, muttering his condolences for the somber meetup. Sylvain clapped a reassuring hand on the young archer's shoulder as he passed in solidarity. Their Professor spoke up again one last time, biting her lip as her soft gaze flitted between the two frantically. It was unnerving seeing her so frazzled.

“I’m sorry to be such a downer when I should be here for you all. I’ll do my best to keep him on his feet at least for now. I can’t deal with any more losses and we haven’t even started directly opposing the Empire yet.” Byleth’s words were heavy, expectation clinging to her. They all knew if anyone could help the Prince, it was her. Heels clicking on the stone floor echoed painfully loud as she strode out for the night leaving Ingrid and Sylvain.

  
  


His gaze fell to the floor silently. Ingrid looked over pitifully at him, leaning against the pillar behind and waiting a few baited moments as their Professor strode further out of earshot.

“You still fancy her don’t you.” 

-

Time and time again, he failed to catch her alone to properly apologize, losing hope with the war efforts that he would get any chance at all as the days rolled by. She did not seem put out having him nearby but he could definitely tell she still held a safe distance. Arms crossed, leaning away from him, curt smiles and greetings that quickly fell to her blank face before they could even be perceived. His hands having left those marks on her trust.

He couldn’t blame her. 

But he also wished so badly to rewrite what he had done, find a way to impress on her just how far he had come and beg forgiveness. Even if she said no, he would rest better knowing he tried and was sincere at that. Yet every time he attempted to pull her aside, something came up. She was rushing to a meeting with Gilbert and Seteth, eating a speedy meal before her tired eyes could rest, practicing to brush off the rust that had developed in her bones over five years rest, nuturing the neglected greenhouse back to health while sorely lacking Dedue’s gentle guidance of years past, gathering support from the surrounding survivors to begin rebuilding, meeting with Mercedes to pick up remedial healing as a wartime necessity now. 

War. 

At the very least, things were moving, but the tension in the air was palpable. They all knew at some point they would have to face the Empire, but had no clue it would come in the manner it did. There was no time for Sylvain’s pathetic romantic squabbles any longer. Food was short, weapons were precious, batallions spread thin, morale was low. Absolutely the wrong time for emotional trysts. With each day, she seemed to slip further away from him. He was unsure if it was closer to the arms of their fallen prince, but she was caught coming and going from the destroyed cathedral far more frequently these days. 

Mercedes caught him one forlorn day in his down time as he rest on a bench, on the verge of tears when the weight of realization hit like a full batallion of pegasus dive bombs. Professor, rushing past him without even acknowledging his presence, a plate full  _ his highnesses  _ favorite again. The jealousy was so new to him, usually being the one who had to chase away women who got too close and not chasing after them instead.

_ Tch. He’ll just cast it against the wall like I heard he always does.  _

_ Fine. Have him. _

“Oh dear. What’s gotten you down this time Sylvain? It’s so odd to see you like this.” 

He had not noticed her approach, but sweet Mercie sat down next to his broad spread over half the bench in protest. 

“I just.” He paused, a heavy sigh. “How do I say this?” 

“Go on, take your time. I have a few moments for a dear friend.” 

His soft amber eyes fluttered, remembering her soft touch as fresh as if it was yesterday. He had never forgotten. How do you even explain something you couldn’t understand yourself? 

“Do you know how to deal with losing something you never had. Never…  _ truly… _ had.” 

“Pardon? Surely this isn’t romantic… you’ve never felt the weight of any of these girls before.” 

He chuckled at the ground with arms crossed. 

“I mean. I fucked up. As usual, I know. But this time I realized too late I actually cared and now I can’t take it back.” 

Mercedes soft face looked deeply at him, a soft pity dawning over her as her shoulders dropped. He panicked, continuing despite his better judgment. At the very least, he knew she would not judge him after all their kind talks before. 

“Look Mercie, I… ugh. I didn’t know what to do! I would do anything to get a second chance and I know it’s probably too late. All these years I thought if I could improve in her honor and now… oh my goddess. I can’t deal with this. She wasn’t supposed to come back…” Leaning forward head in his hands, he felt on the verge of tears for the first time in years. His gloved fingers fisting at his hair as the dear friend next to him processed his words with a reassuring touch on his shoulder and a small sigh of understanding. Heavy silence passed as she picked the right words for him.

“I’m still impressed with how clever you are. I had no clue about this secret tryst! None of those… promises are voided, are they? You still grew as a person, I can tell. I would be proud of that regardless of whether she gives you another shot. Underneath all your false posturing, you really are one of the kindest men I’ve met, Sylvain. You can’t…” She paused, furrowing her brow. 

“You can’t throw away all your hard work based on the Professor's response. I believe in you. Keep being genuine and I’m sure your heart will find it’s way, whether or not she lets you back in.” 

His countenance darkened. 

“You don’t know what I did to her.” 

Mercedes ruffled his hair unprompted as she rose. 

“Please don’t tell me. I’m sure she wishes to move past it as well. Have some patience!” 

“You really think I have a shot against Dimitri? She won’t leave him alone I…. I really think I screwed up my chance. I can’t even blame her…” 

“Sylvain... Please. No morbid thoughts. He can’t even seem to tell who is alive or dead at the moment. That’s no place for budding love. We are all just worried about him, right?” 

A hand extended his direction with a soft smile. 

“Come now, friend. You need some good hand-baked goodies courtesy of me, I can tell. That is, if you don’t mind girls small talk with Annette as well.” 

**Author's Note:**

> IDK what came over me but I wanted to see Sylvain suffer with regret alkdjfalskdf  
Edit: Uh surprise I guess I'm making this a series bc wow I'm horny for emotional angst oops


End file.
